OK, let me start with saying I was a little excited to hear something new from the girl with perhaps the most powerful vocals of any of the pop bitches. The song has a great beginning, then it just implodes. It's danceable, but beyond that, it's vomit incarnate.
First, it sounds like a checklist of what Xtina's managers/producers thought a pop song should sound like. I bet it goes something like this:
1.) Sensually whisper something seemingly personal to the listener. They have been dying to hear your secrets.
2.) Howl and/or hoot like a creature from the deep in some coital condition.
3.) Give the obligatory and/or literal 'fuck you' ... because you're such a rebel. Look at you in your mom jeans with hips for days. Please tell us more of your Frederick's of Hollywood glamour shots and etch-a-sketch photo editing.
4.) Provoke imagery of reckless and animalistic behavior... because you deserve it, girl, you've worked so hard in the trenches of being un-famous for 5 years. You deserve a break today, so go on and get yourself lazy-susan'd at a coke-clouded club.
5.) Make more sex noises toward the end of the track. We have been waiting for this after such an amazing build-up. Thank god you're still making music.
Secondly, didn't somebody already rub you out of the bottle? Why are you toting a toddler and seemingly singing with one hand double-clicking your mouse?
Lastly, you have talent, but terrible management. Fire them all and start singing again. Or else you will forever be the girl who peaked with a song called "Dirrty." With TWO "R"s! TWO! Fucking christ... Please god, someone remix this song back from the darkside.
xoxo
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