Today I turned 30. The glorious Big 3-0. We do not, in this society, get to really revel in too many birthdays: 16, 21, 30, 40, 50... and in ten year increments thereafter seem to be the ones of note. It has been nine years since my last 'big' birthday, and to say that I have some reflecting to do is a massive understatement. I can happily say that I, from a superficial standpoint, look better than I did when I turned twenty. I can report that I am a lot wiser than when I entered this decade of life, as well. And lastly, as a whole, I must divulge that my twenties changed everything head-to-toe, mind-to-matter, and mess-to-slightly more organized mess about me. Let me do this by showing a few photos with the only friend (Casey Mather) I've had during this entire tenure.
For this day, a big day by any standard, I provide your
Essential Tuesday track. This is a song that has been very close to my heart for a very long time. It is essential for any music lover's collection, and hails from one of the quintessential albums of in the history of recorded music,
Let It Bleed.
So, here we go...
When I turned 20, I was experiencing one of the toughest times of my life. When you recollect really rough experiences, especially those that span about 18-20 months, I have learned that one must focus on two things: how hard it hurt (so not to repeat it again) and the major lessons learned (in detail). The rest is simply fodder.
Age: 20
My mid-twenties saw me enter into my most significant relationships: 1 romantic and another platonic. Like all things of quality, these each had their life cycles: the former 2.5 years, the latter 7. I regret very little from these experiences; I learned most of who I am in relation to others mostly because of them. And, in the end, I realize that each cycle ends (like any evolution: through abrupt change or gradual dissipation), life is not always ideal, and if you do not appreciate those that cross and diverge from your path (in lieu of mourning), you missed the point.
Age: 26
After a very difficult 2010 (ages 27-28), in which I quite simply broke down into a state of disarray, I started the final evolution of my 20's: the overhaul. I started to gain the patience and humility which I desperately needed in the previous decade, in this process. I moved 2000 miles from home to pursue the improvement of my life, started a new path toward reconciling childhood dreams and future realities, and (unlike previous moves) held onto the aspects of my previous identity that mattered.
Age: 30 minus 2 weeks
This decade saw me connect with the people who would help mold me; friendships for which I'm incredibly grateful. It saw me fall apart and dive into dark personal places which I cannot justify with descriptors. It saw me live in seven major cities: Lexington (KY), Orlando, Baltimore, Washington DC, Los Angeles, Tucson, and Chicago... in which I have made a habit of attracting some of the most amazing beings as friends. All places have challenged me to sharpen the blade that is my perspective; all have forced me to overcome what is temporarily insurmountable to build what is eternally reinforced.
I am no success story. No one is. I am a mess. A wonderful, awesome mess.
The past decade was, quite simply, a series of lessons learned:
Embrace people for who they are, not for who you want them to be.
Be bold, daring, deliberate, and always willing to scare yourself into where you should be.
Realize that 51% of your life is within your control; that 1% is what matters most, and the remaining 50% goes a little like this:
You can't always get what you want. But, if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need.
[If you know anything about me, you know that the one television character with whom I have always connected most was Californication's Hank Moody.]
GET THE SONG
